Happy Hump Day!

It’s Wednesday evening, the week before Memorial Day weekend. It’s hard to believe that next week is the last week of May and it will be June 1st soon. Memorial Day comes early this year, as it usually is closer to the 31st of May. Nonetheless, I am looking forward to a three day weekend. I live in a small community in the foothills, a few miles from the city in which I work and I plan on not venturing down the hill all weekend. It’s gonna be chaos down there!

The city (and I use the term loosely) where I work is a college town. It is a wonderful town with a terrific downtown, beautiful parks, and an urban population of close to 100,000 people. There are approximately 12,000 students that cause the city’s population to ebb and flow. While the student population creates a youthful vibe and wonderful energy during the school year, not to mention the dollars to our local economy, they also create a lot of traffic and congestion downtown, as well as other parts of town. We “townies” look forward to the annual late spring-early summer exodus of students. The pace of life slows down. You can actually get a parking spot downtown and don’t have to wait in long lines at favorite hot spots. The mall isn’t as crowded, nor are the parks. The heartbeat of the city slows a bit, and even though the outdoor summer activities heat up, more than half the student population leaves for the summer. I look forward to the traffic congestion easing.

That hasn’t happened yet, though.

This week is finals week. Graduation happens to fall on Memorial Day weekend, an unusual occurrence. Our city is going to be a nightmare of frenetic activity. Forget going to the mall. Forget going downtown, Forget going to a restaurant. Forget getting a hotel room. Our town swells with family and friends of the several thousand graduating students, not to mention all the Memorial Day activities that will be taking place. Plus, the annual County Fair is in town!! You take your life in your hands if you venture out and about this weekend, for sure!

I find the older I get, the less tolerant I am of crowds. It frustrates me and makes me nervous at the same time. I prefer quieter activities and not the frenetic jostling and jockeying for position that occurs when you try to maneuver through large crowds. I become impatient and fretful. I guess that is my inner introvert coming out in me. I start to feel tense and anxious and need to get away to a quiet place afterwards.

So for me, I look forward to staying home, resting and relaxing. And reading. I’m looking forward to doing a lot of reading. I bought the latest Dan Brown book, “Inferno.” I’ve started it and can hardly put it down! It starts with a bang, grabs you by the throat and hasn’t let go. And I’m only on page 50! My roommate is going to be gone for the weekend, and other than his son and his fiancee coming and staying the night Friday night (grrrr) I will have the house to myself. I’m looking forward to that.

I salute the men and women who serve and have served our country in the military. I give thanks every day for our freedoms. I honor those that have given the ultimate sacrifice for our country. God bless you all.

Ta ta for now!

Monday Morning Open Letter to Stupid People From the Grammar Police

Good morning and yes it’s a Monday!

I had a great weekend, lots of fun and relaxing. But I hate that it’s over. And I just saw something on Facebook that just makes me crazy so I thought, hey I’ll blog about it! Lucky you! LOL

Ok I’m not really mad, just sort of amazed that, after having gone through our school system, people continue to be ignorant. I mean honestly. Did NOTHING stick???

********************

Dear Person Who Apparently Never Cracked a Book in School,

You’re 49 years old. Do you think in all those years of learning and living, that you might learn how to use the English language? Honestly? People who speak English as a second language have better grammar than you.

For instance, your mother would have been 89 this year, not she would of been 89. But then, you stayed with an abusive drunk of a husband, even after your oldest son moved out of your house and into mine his senior year of high school because he was scared of his stepfather. Hello???

Plus, have you seen the inside of your house? The kitchen is bare studs. Apparently your drunken asshole of a husband (notice proper use of “of” in this sentence) can’t get his lazy ass out of his recliner and get the freaking beer out of his hand long enough to drywall, sand, prime and paint your kitchen walls. It’s been like that for years. YEARS. Really??

Oh, and don’t forget the fact that when you flew out to see your daughter after the birth of her child, that you had to cook and freeze several weeks of meals for him to eat while you were gone, or he wouldn’t “let” you go. Are you serious??? Look at the calendar, girlfriend. It’s 2013, not 1813. Wake up and come forward two hundred years. I swear to goodness, no one “lets” me do anything. If that were me? I’d point his ass in the direction of the take out menus and the telephone if he’s too lazy to learn how to cook. Slavery was outlawed long ago.

Sorry, I digressed. Next grammar lesson. The proper use of “them.” Saying “I can’t get them things to work” immediately stereotypes you as being born and raised in a trailer park. Good grief! Those. “I can’t get those things to work.”

• Their, there and they’re. Let me define these for you once again.
Their: Belonging to or associated with several people. “My friends have lost their tickets.” not “My friends have lost there tickets.”
There: A place or position. “We stayed there 11 days” not “We stayed their 11 days.”
They’re: A contraction of “they are”. as in “They’re closing the mall at six tonight.” Not “Their closing the mall at six tonight.”

• Your and you’re. Listen up, people.
Your: Belonging to you. As in “I brought your book with me.” not “I brought you’re book with me.”
You’re: A contraction of “you are.” Example: “You’re going with me to the store.” Not “Your going with me to the store. “You’re a good friend.” Not “Your a good friend.” “I think you’re smart.” Not “I think your smart.” Because clearly, you’re NOT smart if you use “your” instead of “you’re.

• Accept vs Except. People, people, people.
Accept: Agree to receive or to undertake a task. Example. “I accept the position as chairman.” Not “I except the position of chairman.” Because there is no friggin’ way in hell you’ll be chairman of anything with that kind of error.
Except: Not including; to exclude. “We all went to the dance except Joe.” Not “We all went to the dance accept Joe.”

• Me, him, he, she, her, I: Proper use of pronouns. Example: “He and I went to the store yesterday.” Not “Me and him went to the store yesterday.”

• Misuse of the apostrophe.
An apostrophe indicates possession. No apostrophe indicates plural.
Examples: I went to Linda’s house last night.” Not “I went to Lindas house last night.”
“My cat had six kittens.” NOT “My cat had six kitten’s.”

Please, please please pay attention to these little things. Otherwise you sound as ignorant as a backwoods hillbilly. Just sayin’.

With sincerest frustration,

Your friendly neighborhood Grammar Police

*****

Okay, rant over. That was slightly tongue-in-cheek, but this is actually how this person writes on Facebook all the time! In all honesty I feel sorry for people whose grammar is that bad. I mean, I’m not perfect by any means. I get confused sometimes about certain usages, such as who vs whom, but clearly this type of thing is generational. The ignorance that is so readily apparent in this type of writing is what keeps people from moving up in their jobs. They’re seen as “ignorant” and even “stupid.” Sad, really.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Have a great Monday, everyone!

Ta ta for now!

Wonderful Team Member Readership Award!

My bloggy friend Manty at A Little Patch of Heaven has graciously nominated me for the Wonderful Team Member Award!

Actually she nominated me on April 23rd and I have failed to recognize this honor until today. I have to admit that I had a 3-day weekend this past weekend, as I took Friday off work and I was a complete slug and didn’t do anything I was supposed to do. Except laundry and grocery shop, since I was completely out of clean underwear and groceries. No wonder I feel so refreshed this Monday morning! My roommate and his sons were all over on the coast for 3 days, so I took complete advantage of the empty house and just stayed home and reveled in it. Being the introvert that I am, it was complete heaven. Three whole days without seeing another human being. I would hate that all the time but for the three days it was bliss!

However, I am making up for lost time by recognizing and thanking Manty for this awesome award. It pleases me that my humble little blog is read and appreciated by people out there. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

The rules are as follows;

1.The Nominee of the Wonderful Team member Readership Award shall display the logo on his/her blog.
2.The Nominee shall nominate 14 readers they appreciate over a period of 7 days, all at once or little by little.
3.The Nominee shall name his/her Wonderful Team Member Readership Award nominees on a post or on posts during 7 days.

I know not all bloggers like or appreciate awards, and indeed roll their eyes at being nominated. But I am going to list my favorite blogs here and please go visit them, and Manty too at A Little Patch of Heaven. I appreciate each and everyone of my bloggy friends. The wide variety of voices, points of view and insights are wonderful. Even if I don’t comment much I do read.

Thank you again, Manty, for the awesome award. I am humbled to be in such great company.

Here are the nominees for the Wonderful Team Member Award:

• Jensine over at Jensinewall
• Ellen over at When All Is Said and Done
• Finally Write over at Swimming in the Mud
• Strawberry Indigo over at My Life In Color

I read several other blogs that I know do not appreciate or participate in awards, and some of them are in my blogroll. I need to get busy and add the above named blogs in my blogroll too. I appreciate and enjoy each one of them.

Go visit and read; you won’t be disappointed.

And thank you again, dear Manty, from the bottom of my heart.

Have a great week, everyone!

Ta ta for now!

I’m Not Complaining; I’m commenting! Or am I . . .

Recently, in a conversation with a friend, we were discussing something that had happened at work, and he said to me, “Oh yes, you were complaining about that last week.”

This took me aback a bit.

“Complaining?” I thought to myself. “I wasn’t complaining; I was commenting about it!”

That really got me to thinking. I wonder if people see me as a complainer because I voice my opinions on and comment about things that bother or upset me. To me, I wasn’t trying to “complain” about it I was simply expressing my feelings. Hmmm, I thought. Is this a male-female thing? Or have I been “complaining” all along, thinking I was expressing my displeasure about something. Is it even possible to express yourself without someone thinking you’re complaining?

To me, complaining is a fault. My parents always told me to stop complaining about things. Did I rationalize and justify in my mind that I could “complain” because I was simply “commenting”??

The online Merriam-Webster definition of “complaining” is as follows:

Complain: to express grief, pain, or discontent <complaining about the weather

Comment: an observation or remark expressing an opinion or attitude

Well, that clears it up. NOT!!

So basically the difference between complaining and commenting is that one expresses discontent and the other expresses an opinion or attitude. But isn’t the complaint also your opinion? I think I am really confused now. Clearly, these two words have a lot of overlap. Perhaps whether something is seen as a “comment” or a “complaint” is subjective, based solely on the viewpoint of the listener.

If the line is long at the grocery store, you might post on Facebook, complaining about the long line; as in expressing discontent. However, that discontent is also your opinion. Of course if would probably be the opinion of most people, so is that what makes it a complaint rather than a comment?

Maybe a complaint IS a comment expressed as a complaint?

Maybe I’m complaining about being called a complainer! Ha! Or am I commenting about my worry about being seen as a complainer? A whiner? To me complaining has a negative connotation and commenting does not. So that would be a comment about complaining.

Okay, so now that we’re thoroughly confused . . . .

So if someone “comments” that I’m “complainng too much” are they then “complaining” about my “complaining”??

Oy. This just doesn’t get any easier. The deeper you go the murkier it gets!

So that begs the question: How does one comment about something without being seen as complaining? Blog formats always allow for “comments.” Do some commenters complain in the comments? Absolutely.

So, who’s on first?!?

Tell me your thoughts on this.

Hope everyone’s Wednesday is going well. I am taking Friday as a vacation day, so tomorrow is my last day at work this week! Woohoo!!

Ta ta for now!

Life Keeps on Keeping On

It’s Monday morning, and once again the weekend has flown by on eagle’s wings, while the workaday week flows slower than a herd of turtles. Slower than molasses in January. It’s interesting, isn’t it, how when we are engaged and enthused, the time just seems to fly by. My weekends are filled with nothing in particular, just the mundane and routine chores and laundry, and the rest of the time spent just “hanging out” doing whatever moves me. Sometimes I play on the computer, sometimes I hang out in Second Life, sometimes I read. Sometimes I nap. I revel in the fact that I don’t have to answer to anyone, I have no one’s needs to meet except my own. While occasionally it gets a little lonely, I rarely wish for company. After a lifetime of caring and doing and making sure everyone else in my life is happy, I am enjoying meeting my own needs and making myself happy. And right now, being solitary on the weekends makes me happy.

Usually Mondays go quickly but today, for some reason, I find myself blogging instead of attacking the pile of paperwork that awaits me. I have thought of several things I’d like to blog about over the past few weeks but of course none of those things have stuck in my mind. They flit in and out of my consciousness like a flighty butterfly, lighting here and there, touching for a moment then flying off. I wish I had something wise and brilliant to blog about, some subject that is blog-worthy.

The good news is that things have slowed down at work to the point where I’m not feeling frantic, and now I can stop for a moment and take a deep breath and wait for the next deluge. It seems to be like that in HR; the ebb and flow of my work has peaks and valleys. I haven’t had a valley for a very long time and I am enjoying the chance to catch up. So I will make this short and get back to it. I have felt like a duck in a pond — calm on the surface but paddling like mad underneath!

We’ve had some difficult financial decisions to make in our organization, resulting in the loss of some jobs. That is one of the very hardest things that I have to deal with in my line of work. Those kinds of decisions forever alter the course of someone’s life, and it is heartbreaking to be the one to deliver this kind of news. It’s been weighing on me for some time, and while the fallout from those decisions may not yet be over (you are always at risk for lawsuits whenever you do layoffs) at least the initial part is done. It’s awful being the messenger with that kind of news. If I were a drinker I’d have gotten plastered. But fortunately I don’t handle my problems that way; never have. A glass of wine or two to relax is about my speed, and I didn’t even do that. My anxiety is at an all-time high, and I often wish I had a prescription for Xanax or something when I’m feeling particularly anxious, but I hate to rely on a medicinal crutch. Besides, Xanax doesn’t really make anxiety go away, it simply helps you not care about it for awhile.  Slogging through the low points by putting one foot in front of the other is my method. I also read, meditate, pray, and talk with friends. To me, that’s much better therapy than taking a medication. However, I have almost been to the point where I would have gladly taken Xanax simply to get thru the moment. Time is a great healer, but getting through the lowest of the low points certainly is easier with something like that.

And I don’t want to malign those that take medications or need medications for anxiety, depression, etc. I just know that those medications alter brain chemistry, and they can be either very helpful or very destructive. My ex-husband was on anti-depressants, and I know it was a constant balancing act with his meds. They’d work for awhile; several years even. Then I guess the body becomes immune after awhile, and the doctor would have to adjust his combination of medications. Meanwhile I was living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Personally, I think that he would have been better off with a psychiatrist. His regular MD prescribed those meds for him, and I’m not entirely sure that she knew enough about what she was doing to really get that balance straight. But anyway, not my problem any more. I certainly could no longer live with someone whose moods were so mercurial. I realize that makes me sound like some sort of “I’m only sticking around when things are good but when things get rough I’m outta here!” type of wife. Not at all. Suffice it to say, living with my ex-husband was borderline abusive. When he was in his “down” moods he would yell and scream at me, call me names. He could come home in an excellent mood and two hours later be snapping and snarling like a bad-tempered bear. It all becomes just too much after awhile, and he refused to admit that anything was wrong.

Anyway, I am just rambling. Thank you for listening, and I hope now that things have settled down somewhat I will have more to say. I need to carry around a pocket notebook or something to remember these things that I would like to blog about.

Enjoy your Monday and have a wonderful week. Only five more days until Friday!!

Ta ta for now!

 

It is Meme Time!!

My bloggy friend Strawberry Indigo had a wonderful post up today, and it was a meme! I haven’t done a meme in awhile and since I’ve been less than inspired lately, I thought I’d join in the fun. This is actually a “tag you’re it!” meme, but like her I don’t want to tag anyone in particular. So if you’re of a mind to participate, please do! It’s always fun to read what others write. And it’s a good excuse to do some ego blogging.

The rules are simple:

1.Post the rules.
2.Post a photo of yourself.
3.Post eleven random facts about you.
4.Questions were created for you by the person who tagged you. Answer the questions.
5.Tag several people.
6.Create eleven new questions for those that you have tagged.
7.Go to their blog/twitter and let them know that they have been tagged.

So. Post the rules. Done.

Next: Post a photo of yourself:

 

 

 

 

Check!

Next. Post 11 random facts about you. Ok, hmm. Here we go.

1. I love the ocean. If I won the lottery, the first thing I’d do (after paying off my debt) would be to purchase a house on the beach.

2. I’m in love with a married man. He lives in another state. I know it won’t go anywhere but nonetheless, I am in love with him.

3. I hate beans. Hate. Ugh. My mother tells the story of when I was about five or six years old. She was putting food on my plate in the kitchen for dinner one night and she had baked some beans. As she was ladling up the food, I was standing next to her in the kitchen. Apparently I was shifting from foot to foot. My mother asked me if I had to go to the bathroom. I said, “No! That’s for the beans!” hehe Apparently I was afraid she was going to put beans on my plate!

4. My favorite number is 14.

5. I went to high school with Thomas Kinkade, the painter. I used to say that with pride. Now I am slightly embarrassed. He had a rather unfortunate, inglorious end to his life. He had a heart attack while drunk. His wife had moved out, he was living with a skank who is now fighting with the wife over his estate. This means that the millions of dollars he earned will line the pockets of attorneys instead of going where it should — to his wife or at least to his daughters.

6. I want to be a writer when I grow up. Or now would be good!

7. I am painfully shy with new people, even though I pretend otherwise. I am also a profound introvert.

8. I have a broken chooser when it comes to men. I also am a serial bride… married and divorced three times in the past 30 years. I think it has a lot to do with #7 above. Believe me, I’m done now. I like my space and my alone time.

9. I love grocery shopping. I don’t love spending the money, but the actual grocery shopping I find enjoyable. Probably because it’s “legal” shopping. You can’t say you’re being extravagant when you’re purchasing something that prevents you from starving.

10. I sometimes lose my filter on my mouth. If it’s in my head, it comes out of my mouth. On the plus side, I’m a straight shooter and you’ll never wonder what I’m thinking.

11. I am a Grammar Nazi. It makes me absolutely crazy when, in written form, people use “your” instead of “you’re,” use an apostrophe when they’re trying to simply make something plural (an apostrophe after a word is possessive; adding an “s” is plural; as in “the dogs were running in the park,” meaning multiple dogs. Not “the dog’s were running in the park.” The dog’s what?? The apostrophe means that it is referring to something belonging to the dog. Gah.); or the misuse of “their,” “there” and “they’re”… I could go on but I won’t bore you!

Okay. That’s done.

Next. Answer the questions that were created for the meme.

1. How did you come up with your blogging name?
2. If you could travel to an imaginary place what would it be?
3. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
4. Do you have a favorite posession? What is it and why is it dear to you?
5. What was your favorite subject in school?
6. What is your earliest memory?
7. Could you pass a FBI check?
8. Can you juggle or perform any sort of circus act?
9. What is your deepest fear?
10. What was your first job?
11. Do you hate answering stupid nosy questions?

Okay. Here we go:

1. How did you come up with your blogging name?
I am in my mid-50s. This is the menopause time of life. I was criticized by a reader for the name not matching my content (she was expecting some advice and commiseration on menopausal symptoms) so I changed it to the Midlife Chronicles. More generic; less specific. Because really my blog isn’t about menopause; it’s about life at this stage.

2. If you could travel to an imaginary place what would it be?
I am an avid Second Life resident. This is a virtual world online. I would love to crawl through the screen and be part of it. My favorite part about Second Life is the avatar customization. A few sliders and voila! Never fat again. Never diet again.

3. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
That’s a tough one. First, I’d have to say my weight. I envy those who do not see food as a vehicle for emotional comfort and have the metabolism of a hummingbird. Secondly, I’d change my height. I’m 5’11″ in my stocking feet and while short people always say they envy it, it’s difficult to be so very tall. Not that I’m dipping my pole in the water right now, but the dating pool becomes extremely limited. On the other hand, I wouldn’t want to be extremely short either. I wouldn’t mind being about 5’7″ or 5’8.” It’s hard to be freakishly tall and an introvert. It’s a tad difficult to blend in. Not to mention the unfortunate, unrelenting teasing I received in junior high.

4. Do you have a favorite possession? What is it and why is it dear to you?
My book collection. I have several bookshelves full of books. My ex husband (my most recent one) got mad about all the books one day and made me sell most of them to a used bookstore. (That’s one of the many reasons he’s an ex.) I cried the whole time. I hear you thinking it… he “made” you?? How does someone “make” you do something you don’t want to do? No, he didn’t hold a gun to my head or threaten to beat me up if I didn’t. It was like water torture. He constantly harangued me and harangued me about the books and how much room they were taking up. I finally couldn’t take it anymore.

5. What was your favorite subject in school?
Duh. Literature

6. What is your earliest memory?
When I was two, I took apart a doll that squeaked and swallowed the little thing that make her squeak. My dad turned me upside down trying to get it out. They eventually took me to the emergency room. They took an x-ray and found I’d aspirated it. They removed it with an outpatient procedure.

7. Could you pass a FBI check?
Oh yes, and I have. I have CORI level fingerprint clearance, because of my job as HR Director. I am a Custodian of Records, meaning that I am responsible for receiving and handling other people’s criminal record information, because we fingerprint all new staff at my work.

8. Can you juggle or perform any sort of circus act?
Umm no. The only thing I’ve juggled was single parenting two boys, and my job. Sometimes it felt like I was running a circus!!

9. What is your deepest fear?
Heights.

10. What was your first job?
Working in a McDonald’s the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of college. I was 19 and one of the few crew members who were over 18. The shift supervisor used to sexually harass me and the other girls that were over 18. Yikes!

11. Do you hate answering stupid nosy questions?
Depends on who’s asking! (Who’s in this case is not possessive; it’s a contraction of “who is.” And that’s your grammar lesson for today!!)

(I’m stealing the paragraph below directly from Strawberry Indigo. Go check her out; she’s pretty cool. She has Asperger’s like my brother does so she has a special place in my heart. Also, she’s an awesome writer.)

I don’t want to put anyone on the spot; anyone and everyone who is reading this and who wants to participate, please do so. I welcome it! You are so fascinating and I’d LOVE to know more about you. I guess I am asking you to tag yourself which could be quite a spectacle but being bloggers here maybe some of you may choose to make a spectacle of yourself. (I certainly encourage that sort of activity) Please be my guest and break the rules, I love rule breakers. If you choose to participate make it your own. Whoever does play, please provide a link to this post and I will include a link to yours. I will also promote your post on Twitter (you can opt out on that) and if enough people respond I will do an entire post praising your glories and what I know will make an interesting read.

I’ll be back soon with a regular blog post. I feel like things are easing up a bit at work, although things are still stressful and hectic, just the pressure is lessening a bit.

Thanks for your patience and link me in your blog so I can read your tag meme!

Ta ta for now!

Still breathing . . .

Coming up for air briefly, letting you know I’m still alive and kicking. I’ve lost 90 percent of my audience since I discontinued my midlifechronicles.com website. So that was a huge mistake. Work has been very overwhelming lately, taking all my time and creative energy.

I hope to be back soon.

*tap tap* Is this thing on??

Have a great Thursday!

xo,